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I’m che ating on partner who treats me like a queen – but I don’t feel guilty one bit

I find myself engaged in a passionate yet temporary affair, unburdened by guilt. Though it lacks emotional depth and has an expiration date, the experience is enjoyable. My long-term partner treats me well overall, but I often have to initiate intimacy. This lack of feeling desired prevents me from proclaiming complete satisfaction. While the person I’m involved with is caring and decent, I don’t envision a future together. I made it clear from the beginning that I wasn’t seeking anything serious, but it seems he desires more now. He remains unaware of my existing relationship.

My life with my partner feels secure, providing financial stability and a sense of safety. However, emotionally, I feel numb. This isn’t the first time I’ve strayed. Over our 16-year relationship, I have engaged in multiple extramarital affairs. We do not have children together, but each have a child from previous relationships. Love has always eluded me, leaving me uncertain of its true meaning.

My inclination to seek connections outside my relationship may stem from a lack of positive relationship role models in my upbringing, resulting in low self-esteem. The constant longing to feel wanted, needed, and desired makes it challenging for my partner to fulfill those deep-seated needs. Seeking ongoing therapy can help me uncover the root causes behind my behaviors and provide the necessary support for making positive changes.

It is unfair to both my long-term partner and the individual with whom I am having an affair, as neither is aware of the other’s existence. While I may have managed to keep my affairs hidden thus far, the truth has a way of surfacing eventually. Perhaps I am clinging to the security my partner offers, even though our relationship may have reached its natural conclusion.

Regardless of the underlying reasons, this pattern of self-destructive behavior needs to be addressed for my own well-being and that of others involved. The support pack “Can’t Be Faithful?” can provide valuable guidance in navigating this challenging situation.

Understanding the need for emotional fulfillment and breaking the cycle of infidelity is crucial for my personal growth and the overall health of my relationships. It is important to reassess the current state of my long-term partnership and make thoughtful decisions to ensure a future based on honesty, emotional connection, and personal fulfillment.

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