Disclaimer: The following text is a satirical piece intended for humor and entertainment purposes only. It does not reflect the actual views or actions of Megan Rapinoe, or any other individuals or organizations mentioned. Please enjoy this content in the spirit of satire and not as a reflection of real events.
Megan Rapinoe announced her retirement from professional soccer earlier this year. That means no more World Cups or league play after 2023.
Still, all athletes are eligible to try out for the US Olympic Team, of which Rapinoe has been a member for 17 years. This year, however, the team has asked that she step aside.“In light of the World Cup blunder and the negative attention for kneeling during the National Anthem, the US Olympic Women’s Soccer team has released Megan Rapinoe,” said Olympic Committee Chairman Joe Barron, “Ms. Rapinoe has our deepest respect.”
Respect doesn’t translate to a spot on the field, unfortunately. It looks like Rapinoe, who was also released from OL Regign, will be headed into retirement early.What will that retirement look like? That’s hard to say. So far, we’ve had her lose a $25 million broadcasting contract with a frictional sports network, so right out of the gate things aren’t going well.
“This storyline is a little bit different,” said the guy who writes this stuff, “they don’t actually know or care about the sport they’re suddenly experts on, so we can literally make anything we want to happen to Ms. Rapinoe.”
That almost sounds like a threat, but…has she earned it? Megan Rapinoe…hero or traitor? You decide. And now a word from our sponsor…