(Note: This text is entirely fictional and meant for satirical entertainment.)
Did Riley Gaines beat Megan Rapinoe for the title of “Woman of the Year?” Yes, that’s true. According to reporting from The Dunning-Kruger Times, the judges’ decision wasn’t just in favor of Gaines; it was unanimous:
The coveted “Woman of the Year” title has been officially handed to former Kentucky swimmer and up-and-coming conservative pundit Riley Gaines. All nine judges voted unanimously.While the win should come as no surprise given what Riley has done for women’s rights, many believed the crown would likely go to soccer star Megan Rapinoe. Nominating Committee Chair Joe Barron said Rapinoe wasn’t a consideration at all.
“Her name was on the list of finalists,” said Barron, “But so was Lia Thomas and Simone Biles. One is a quitter and the other, well…you know. Riley was really the only logical choice.”
The Citizens United National Trust Society will deliver the award to Gaines on live television at its annual awards show, which now streams on Fox Nation.
There you have it, folks. In black and white, right there on the internet. It has to be true.
Remember, if a story seems a little bit fishy, it’s always best to sit back and wait until the fact-check comes out. Not from one of those Facebook outlets, though. They only publish opinion. God Bless America.