Out of Options: Nobody Will Hire “Easily Triggered” Megan Rapinoe

Megan Rapinoe lost more than just a game when she missed an easy goal on an empty net at the World Cup. She also lost the respect of her peers. With the game behind her, she’s now finding that nobody wants to hire her – or continue endorsing her.

“The way she shrugged it off like it was no big deal was as bad as the disrespect she had for our National Anthem,” said fellow teammate Josephine Barron, “I’m pretty new but you can tell that the whole team is just over her completely.”Rapinoe lost an ESPN broadcasting contract, a WSN commentator’s spot worth more than $25 million, a Nike Endorsement, and her spot on the 2024 Olympic team.

To add insult to injury, General Mills announced that they were going with someone different for the Wheaties Box this fall. Go woke go broke, Megan. Hopefully, you learned a lesson.According to ALLOD Forensic Analyst Tara Newhole, it’s easy to see why Rapinoe was shunned. “I don’t watch a lot of soccer, but I do watch a lot of National Anthems, and I’ve never been more appalled,” said Newhole, “that woman should be sent off to FEMA Camp 12 for her crimes against America.

Newhole says on top of her obvious hatred for the flag, Rapinoe also brags about her autographed picture of Obama in the infamous tan suit. “He nearly brought democracy to its knees with that stunt,” she said in a shaky voice, “and here’s Rapinoe taunting those of us still in therapy over it. She’s a monster.”

Luckily for Tara, company insurance covers her mental health issues, but not everyone is so lucky. God Bless America.



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