Disclaimer: The following text is a satirical piece intended for humor and entertainment purposes only.
Shortly after Garth Brooks announced to the world that he prefers to cater to .07 percent of its population, things started to go horribly wrong.
First, he held a soft opening for his new club, “Friends in Low Places,” and only a dozen people showed up. On hearing that news, his three investors pulled out, calling his brand “an embarrassment.” Brooks canceled the Grand Opening.Now, his record label, Capitol Country, has dropped him as a featured artist, stating that he “doesn’t represent country.”
“Brooks decided to spit on his own fan base,” said Capitol CEO Joe Barron, “he doesn’t represent country music, so he’ll need a new label.”We reached out to Brooks and asked him why he decided to throw away his career for wokeness. He told ALLOD correspondent Skip Tetheludah that he wasn’t concerned with all the reports.
“From what I understand,” said Brooks, “the stories are mostly from a liberal troll who really enjoys watching the assholes I don’t want at my bar make fools of themselves. It’s not my cup of tea, but I suppose someone has to do it.”
We weren’t quite sure what he was talking about, patriots. It could have been some sort of Antifa code or something. If you do decide to go to Nashville, keep alert. Stay liquid. Be the street. God bless America.
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