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Garth Brooks Cancels His Bar’s Grand Opening After Investors Bail Out: “The Brand is an Embarrasment Now”

Disclaimer: The following text is a satirical piece intended for humor and entertainment purposes only.

Garth Brooks made a huge mistake when he called a majority of beer drinkers “assholes.” The promised boycotts of his newly-branded but yet-to-open bar in Nashville have already cost him huge.

Three investors with a massive stake in the venture pulled out, telling Garth that he had spoiled the project. Brooks was forced to cancel his grand opening and consider his options.“He’ll probably have to pander to some special interest groups and hope there are enough weirdos in Nashville to sustain it,” said Joe Barron, Chief Investment Counselor for Dim and Witty, “personally, I don’t think there are enough drag queens and trans people within a 300-mile radius to pull it off.”

Once again, a “woke” leftist is left without a business because he thought .07 percent of the population was a solid customer base.

A spokesman for Brooks told ALLOD correspondent Skip Tetheludah that he wasn’t really concerned with the hype or the boycotts.

“Garth wouldn’t care if it turns out to be a gay bar,” said Skip, “he says they tend to order more expensive drinks anyway.”

“The premise that any bar would predicate itself and its future on what brands of beer cultist pseudo-patriots want is pretty dumb,” said a guy we interviewed outside the bar, “do you have any spare change?” God bless America.

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