The internet is once again on fire after what sources are calling the most dramatic kneel of all time.
According to wildly circulating reports (and several extremely confident Facebook comments), Colin Kaepernick showed up at a San Francisco 49ers game last weekend with a small entourage, marched toward the field like he was storming Normandy, and performed what witnesses described as “a highly emotional, deeply symbolic, camera-ready kneel.”
Fans nearby were reportedly confused at first.
“People thought it was halftime entertainment,” said one alleged attendee. “Then we realized… no, this is that again.”
Moments later, social media exploded with claims that NFL officials had finally reached their breaking point.
“We’ve tried ignoring him. We’ve tried pretending he doesn’t exist. We’ve tried giving interviews about how much we respect ‘dialogue,’” joked a statement circulating online and attributed to an unnamed NFL spokesperson. “But this was the last kneel. We’re kneel-ed out.”[ar
The claims go on to say that the league has now “banned” Kaepernick from all NFL stadiums, practice facilities, parking lots, gift shops, tailgates, and possibly even the general vicinity of football-shaped objects.
Some versions of the story dramatically insist he would be “arrested on sight,” while others say security has simply been instructed to hand him a folding chair and ask him to “please kneel somewhere else.”
Naturally, reactions were split exactly how you’d expect.
Supporters declared the moment “historic,” saying it proved he’s still “living rent-free” in everyone’s head. Critics responded by saying they thought the kneeling movement had retired years ago — right next to VHS tapes and dial-up internet.
Meanwhile, NFL fans everywhere just want to watch football without a surprise political performance.
“At this point,” one viral comment read, “the man has knee cartilage older than most rookies.”
Of course, none of this has been officially confirmed — but that hasn’t stopped the internet from declaring the saga “finally over” at least 47 times now.
Until next season.
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