I’m Positive You Will Not Know What This Is. Go Ahead And Prove Me Wrong (If You Can)

The Denver Broncos’ Head of Football Operations and former Super Bowl-winning quarterback John Elway has established some ground rules for the 2017 NFL season.

Our sources within the locker room, who may or may not be directly aware of what is happening, say that Elway is already shining his index finger in preparation for pointing at the traitors he will fire.James Osborne, our sports reporter on the ground, reports that the athletes are taking the warnings extremely seriously:

“Elway has stated categorically that he would not tolerate any disrespect for our flag. Anyone kneeling on his field during the National Anthem will be fired, Elway yelled in his office, according to one of the assistant coach’s assistants.

They won’t be permitted to participate if they are a member of another squad and will be led away. Although we are unsure of how to enforce that rule, it appears that we will have to do so or risk being dismissed by old pigeon feet.

Elway doesn’t play around. He fired three players immediately in 2017 when they knelt, which sparked a series of fact-checking articles and attacks on parody by Snopes. In the end, the guys were allowed to play again since they weren’t genuine, and Elway was able to maintain his reputation as an intolerant jackass.

blessings from God And God Bless America, John Elway


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