Disclaimer: This text is a work of satire and fiction.
After hearing word that Toby Kieth had distanced himself from Garth Brooks, we reached out to find out just what was up. Toby and Garth, while sharing some differing views, have always managed to work well together. Now, however, Toby won’t touch any project with the Brooks name on it.
We caught up to Kieth at the Memphis Chicken Shack and got a first-hand account of how their friendship ended.“Garth used to be a decent guy,” said Keith, “Then the woke mind virus took over and everything was about supporting gay people. Not that supporting gay people is wrong, but come on, dude…like…all the time?
“It was really disturbing,” he continued, “When the Dylan Mulvaney nonsense happened he called Kid Rock personally and told him he was disappointed. We had a good laugh and figured it was Trish making him do it.”
Toby says after that, however, things got really odd. “We were at his bungalow outside of Vegas playing Texas Hold ’em and he demanded we play strip, even though it was just dudes. We were like…what? He tried to make a move on Keith Urban, and then Trish came in covered in Peach preserves. It was then I knew the time had come to move on.”
Toby says he’d like to forget most of what happened that night, but the “cheese Danish ritual” will forever be emblazoned on his mind.
At least he had the good sense to pick up and move on. Garth Brooks is long gone, and he’s never coming back. God Bless America.
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